I’ve been learning a lot about myself this year. I really thought I’d be able to do the mom thing and the full time job thing and the part time photography thing without any issues and carry on life without any real adjustments. (It’s cool, you can laugh.) My attempts to do all of the things have led to a lot of surprises and a lot of guilt when those things don’t get done. This guilt is not just so-called “mom guilt;” it’s also work guilt and business guilt. It’s super-sized guilt. Let’s call it superguilt. It’s my own personal super power.
Superguilt gives me the ability to take responsibility for things that are out of my control. It helps me to shoulder self-imposed deadlines and then suffer disappointment in myself when those deadlines aren’t met. Superguilt makes sure I work late, that I’m anxious a lot, and that I always worry about not doing enough.
I’m slowly learning to let go of all of the things and the Superguilt, and hold onto the things that I really care about. I’m letting go of my guilt and relying on others to get projects finished at work so I can enjoy my vacation. Also, I’m letting go of perfection in a variety of areas of my life, and not beating myself up when I prioritize snuggles over blog deadlines.
I care about the blog, and I’ll continue to write and post regularly, but we may find that posts come out Wednesdays instead of Tuesdays some weeks, and I may miss a week here and there in favor of a trip to the beach, without feeling super guilty about it.
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I also refuse to feel guilty for the neon reflectiveness of my legs. SPF100 works for me.